Signs She’s Into You

by Sunny Hoi

There is a saying that “men and women can never become friends”. When you become friendly with a woman and engage in conversation with her, people typically assume that you two are dating. It’s true that a lot of friendships between the opposite sexes develop into romances because there is some sort of attraction from either one side or both sides. Perhaps some geographic or other circumstance limits a relationship from becoming more than friends. It is incredibly easy for guys to misinterpret and overthink a girl’s genuine friendliness as hitting on you.

Here are a few subtle, yet sneaky signs that can very well indicate that a girl is interested in you:

1. She looks, notices, or stares at you frequently. She often focuses her attention on you and throws in glances when you are in the room. This may be from the side of her eyes. Whenever you enter the room or are in the room, she notices you and may approach you directly to talk depending on how comfortable she is with you. If you are unattractive in her eyes, she probably won’t bother looking at you frequently.

2. She does not mention her boyfriend to you. She never mentions her boyfriend which is the same as lying about not having one. This holds to be truer when the conversation warrants it. For example, she tells you that she is going on vacation to somewhere, and you ask her “Are you going by yourself or with someone else?” and she responds “With family.”, you say “Your family?”, and she confirms it again “Yeah.” You later find out through a third party that she is going with her boyfriend. This clearly shows that she very much may harbor a crush on you and is likely thinking of you as a possible future successor to her soon to be predecessor! If she didn’t see you as more than friends, disliked you, and wanted you to keep your distance, she would mention her boyfriend. There is little merit in hiding this relationship fact unless the girl is a very private person, but this notion is contradicted since she is willing to discuss with you personal details like going on a trip. When she is comfortable with you and is clearly enjoying her time with you, she may also not want to mention her boyfriend in order to keep you talking to her or it may because she genuinely is interested in you. Of course, this also depends on the context of the situation. Like the example above accompanied with body language obviously, indicates romantic interest and feelings on her part.

3. She flirts with youShe flirts with you. She may run her fingers through her hair in a tilted position and expose her neck area while looking at you. If she isn’t looking at you while doing this, then don’t mistake this for interest. This sign shouldn’t be seen as exclusively the definite indicator to her interest in you. Some women will flirt with everyone. Perhaps, it is their playful nature that they do so. If you combine this sign with others signs you see, there is a very likelihood that she is indeed interested in you.

4. She asks you personal questions about yourself. A girl who isn’t interested in you won’t take the time to ask personal questions about you. If she is into you, she will grill you like a piece of raw meat. She will ask all about you–what you do, your childhood, your current life. If she talks about the future whether it is about herself or you, she is looking at whether you are a potential soulmate. She wants to find out more about you because she wants to see if you are viable in her eyes as a possible boyfriend or whether you are a better option than her current boyfriend. She is genuinely interested in getting to know you. However, there should be an emphasis on how many personal questions she asks you and how personal these questions are in nature. She may ask only a few questions at a particular encounter and few or none at the next encounter. She might not even talk to you the next time. This would mean that she was only being friendly at the first encounter and not trying to be perceived as rude. However, if she is genuinely interested in you, she would make the effort in getting to know you better and may eventually fall for you after doing so. If you ask her questions, and she asks you some questions, you are on the right path. A lot of beautiful women currently dating will consider “monkey branching”: moving from good boyfriend > better boyfriend > better boyfriend. Hence, when you answer their questions, they will make the decision whether you would be a better boyfriend than their current one.

5. Her body points to you when you are speaking to her. A girl who has possible romantic feelings for you and is attracted to you will face her body towards you when you are talking to her. If she weren’t into you, she would be talking to you without her body directly pointing to yours and likely would not initiate eye contact with you while you do so.

6. She gets touchy with you. She begins to touch you. For example, she may touch your biceps and ask if you workout. You should say yes even if you don’t. If she does not touch you, it does not mean she isn’t interested in you. Some women will refrain from touching you because they are not quite comfortable with you yet or are naturally not a touchy person unless you are officially dating her.

7. She becomes friends with you. This may be controversial, but it holds true many times in real life. Many women will become friends with a guy because she is attracted to him, hoping something more can develop from this friendship. The girl could be shy at first or just wants to develop a friendship with a guy before deciding whether to take it to the next level. After all, getting to know someone first a little before dating them makes sense and develops intimacy. Some of the best romances originated from friendships. This also is true with guys of course. Academic research suggests that it is often the guys that become attracted, thus willing to accept friendship in the hopes of expecting something greater later on. But it is important to realize that women are social and sexual beings with needs like men as well. Men and women are human beings. Therefore, they are more similar to each other. This sign may seem purely false at first. But if you think about it, it actually makes sense to think that friendship with the opposite sex has a hidden purpose. We know there are guys with many female friends and many girls with male friends, but also a majority of people without friends of the opposite sex. Guys linger on a friendship with a female in hopes that the female friend will someday realize or develop feelings for the guy friend or replace the current boyfriend. Females may very likely do this as well and may put the guy in the “backup” category in case her boyfriend misbehaves. In this case, the girl has put the guy into “possibly more than friends zone”, continually making sure she is keeping the guy interested in her. Those who do not have friends of the opposite sex know the inevitable sexual tension embedded in many male-female friendships and the possible risks which these friendships offer. Thus, they avoid these opposite-sex friendships like the plague. Many males and females will completely cut off ties with one person once they find out the love interest is not into them the same way they are. They will feel disappointment or hurt. When you offer friendship and maintain it, there is always one party with a hidden agenda (Romantic feelings for one). If there is no hidden agenda, you may expect one or both friends to fall for one another in the future once they develop trust and intimacy. It takes enormous self-control not to fall for one another.

8. She gives her number to you. If she gives you her number whether you ask her or not, she may be interested in you. This again depends on the context. If you are classmates, and she wants to exchange numbers with you, she may merely be interested in being classmate friends with you. When one of you miss a class, you are able to contact each other for notes. If you ask for her number, and she gives you it after having a great conversation, this is a good sign. If she has a boyfriend and she still gives you her number, then this is great as well.

9. She is excited to see you. When she sees you in the room, you may see her excited, and she may smile at you. She may even sit directly next to you, notably when she hasn’t gotten your attention yet.

10. She treats you differently than everyone else she interacts with. Depending on her personality, she may not engage in conversations with other people she does not know well. But she does so with you. She may not know you well, or she hasn’t seen you in a decade, but her interest in you has never disappeared. She may be a social butterfly, interacting with many people. However, when she interacts with you, it is evidently different than with other people. She may seem friendly with everyone, but there is this subtle difference in the way she interacts with you that many people probably wouldn’t be able to grasp. She just seems more genuinely interested in you than other people, and you can see that if you are careful enough to spot it.

11. There is a spark in her eyes when she talks to you or sees you. When she talks to you or sees you, there is an undeniable spark in her eyes. You can notice it very easily. She doesn’t give this look to any other person you see her talking to or looking at. Even if she has a boyfriend, this does not mean she can not be interested in other guys like you. If you see this spark in her eyes regardless of whether she is taken or not, she is clearly interested in you.

12. She mentions you to her family and introduces you to them. Any girl that isn’t interested in you will not take the time and effort to talk about you to her trusted and loved family. If she brings another family member or brings you to meet one of them or all of them, this means she is trying to get you to know them better because she can foresee a possible future with you. When you become romantically involved with her, it becomes much easier for you to interact with her family because you already did so at some point. This also means it easier for her when you two become a couple because her family will have already approved of you since she knows how much of a good guy you really are. Hence, this not only removes the tension of the question “Will my family like him?”, but also provides a clear answer to it.

13. She stays in contact with you and singles you out. A woman who is into you will make herself available. For example, if you are going to college for the Fall and Spring semester and are interested in maintaining contact with her, she will have no problem doing so. This can be done through text, email, or simply the exchange of numbers. The fact that she provides her information to you indicates that she perceives you as special, and she values you very much in terms of attention, as a person, and a potential love interest. It is unlikely she provides this information to everyone. Singling you out is a great sign that means that she may very well be attracted to you.

14. You are the spotlight. There are a ton of men in your presence who happen to be naturally your competitors. Yet, she seems to be only interested in talking to you or at least makes more effort into drawing your attention and talking to you.

Make sure to keep an eye out for these signs in order to determine whether a woman you’re crushing on is into you. Remember that just because she isn’t showing any of the signs initally does not mean she won’t be interested in you later on. She may fall for you over time as your connection with her grows.

Also, be sure to check out this other article I’ve written here. (The article will help you on your first date!)

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